Monday, April 13, 2009

El Español

LA PAZ, BOLIVIA
17 DE ABRIL DE 2009

THE ACQUISTITION OF A SECOND LANGUAGE IS AN INTERESTING THING. WHEN I WAS TEACHING I WOULD GET KINDERGARTNERS WHO SPOKE NO ENGLISH BEGIN TO GRASP THE LANUGAGE BY HALLOWEEN, IT WOULD TAKE MIDDLE SCHOOLERS UNTIL CHRISTMAS. HIGH SCHOOL KIDS SORT OF GOT IT BY EASTER.

WITH ME IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. OUR LANGUAGE TRACKS, WHICH REALLY BEGIN TO CLOSE AROUND THE AGE OF FIVE, ARE ALMOST TOTALLY SHUT DOWN BY ADULTHOOD. BUT STILL, I WON´T GIVE UP. I STARTED STUDYING SPANISH QUIE AQCCIDENTLLY. MY COUSIN, A SURGEON, GAVE ME A SET OF 10 CASSETTE TAPES. THAT SUMMER WE WENT TO CALIFORNIA ON THE TRAIN. I LISTENED TO HALF THE TAPES BETWEEN PLATTSBURGH AND LOS ANGELES. IN THAT SHORT PERIOD OF TIME I LEARNED ENOUGH TO ORDER DINNER IN SPANISH AT A MEXICAN RESTAURANT. IT´S ALWAYS BEEN A JOKE THAT MY SPANISH SUCKS. AT THE BEGINNING I WAS AT THE ÏT SUCKS LEVEL 5,456,789.¨ THEN I GOT A TUTOR AND WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TWO WEEKS IN MEXICO AND MY SPANISH IMPROVED TO THE ÏT SUCKS LEVEL 1,658,985.¨ AFTER I RETIRED I FELL INTO THE ACCIDENTAL CAREER AS A SPANISH TEACHER. THEN I STUDIED SPANISH IN MEXICO FOR FOUR MONTHS, LIVING IN A SMALL APARTMENT IN NON-GRINGO NEIGHBORHOOD. THEN I TAUGHT AGAIN. BY THEN MY SPANISH HAD IMPROVED TO THE ÏT SUCKS LEVEL 9¨ STAGE.

IT STILL SUCKS, EVEN THOUGH I STUDY IT AND TEACH IT AND USE IT EVERY DAY. BY NOW IT´S PROBABLY AT THE ¨ÏT SUCKS LEVEL 4 STAGE.¨ MAYBE SOMEDAY I´LL GET TO LEVEL 1.

IT´S BEEN A LINGUISTIC ADVENTURE THIS WINTER. I NEVER GIVE UP, BUT IT´S NOT ALWAYS BEEN EASY.
TO MY EARS, CHILEAN SPANISH IS ALMOST INCOMPREHENSIBLE. ARGENTINIAN SPANISH ISN´T MUCH BETTER. I CAN ALMOST HOLD ON TO URUGUYAN SPANISH, BUT FIND PARAGUAYAN, BOLIVIAN AND PERUVIAN SPANISH CLEARER AND EASIER TO UNDERSTAND.

PART OF THE PROBLEM IS THAT THERE ARE MULTIPLE SPANISHES, JUST AS THERE ARE MULTIPLE ENGLISHES. AND, JUST AS WITH ENGLISH, THE BETTER A PERSON´S EDUCATION, THE BETTER THE SPANISH. THOSE WHO´VE STUDIED A SECOND LANGUAGE ON A DEEP LEVEL ARE MUCH MORE EMPATHETIC TO THE PLIGHT OF THE SPANISH-AS-A-SECOND LANGUAGE SPEAKER. IN CHILE, FOR EXAMPLE, A TEE-SHIRT IS A POLERA. IN ARGENTINA IT´S A REMERA. IN MEXICO IT´S A PLAYERA. I ORDERED SOPA DE PARAGUAY IN ASUNCION ASSUMING I WAS GOING TO GET A BOWL OF SOUP (SOPA=SOUP), BUT GOT A HUNK OF VEGETABLE FILLED CORN BREAD. I NEEDED SOCKS ONE DAY AND ASKED THE ARGENITINIAN CLERK FOR CALCETINAS. SHE JUST STARED AT ME. FINALLY I SHOWED HER AND SAID, ÄHH, YOU NEED MEDIDAS.

IN THE END, THESE ARE MY OBSERVATIONS: CHILEAN BODY LANGUAGE TOLD ME THEY WERE QUITE ANNOYED WHEN I ASKED THEM TO SLOW DOWN. THE ALL-TOO-ARROGANT ARGENTITIAN WOULD LAUGH AT MY ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE. (ONE ARGENTINIAN, WHEN I TOLD HIM I LEARNED MY SPANISH IN MEXICO, COMMENTED: ¨¨LOS MEXICANOS NO HABLAN CASTELLANO.¨ MEXICANS DON´T SPEAK SPANISH!). NOT A SINGLE URUGUAYAN, BOLIVIAN OR PERUVIAN SHOWED ANY ANNOYANCE AT MY ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE. IN FACT, THEY WERE THE ONES WHO WOULD GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO COMPLIMENT ME ON MY SPANISH. (THIS AFTERNOON, WHILE GETTING A HAIRCUT, THE BARBER CALLED MY SPANISH ¨PERFECT.¨ THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS NOT THE CASE.

I PLOD ON. MY SPANISH TEACHER, GLORIA, WHO KNEW ALL TO WELL MY FRUSTRATIONS, WOULD OFTEN SAY TO ME, ¨POCO A POCO, DAN.¨ LITTLE BY LITTLE.

AND LITTLE BY LITTLE IT IS. EACH DAY I ACQUIRE, AND ATTEMPT TO USE, A FEW MORE WORDS. MY VOCABULARY CONTINUES TO GROW. AS THIS TRIP HAS PROGRESSED I´VE NOTICED THAT MY ABILITY TO READ AND AURALLY COMPREHEND HAS IMPROVED DRAMATICALLY. THE ABILITY TO SPEAK IT, HOWEVER, IS ANOTHER THING. OF THE FOUR AREAS OF LANGUAGE ACQUISITION, IT´S THE HARDEST FOR ME.

THERE IS PROBALY NO WAY TO REALLY STOP FULL BLOWN ALZHEIMER´S DISEASE, BUT THE STUDY OF A SECOND LANGUAGE INTO ADVANCED ADULTHOOD IS ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO SLOW IT DOWN.

SO, I WILL CONTINUE--POCO A POCO. ONE OF THESE DAYS I´LL GET IT, OR AT LEAST I´LL DIE TRYING. I HAD A VIETNAMESE FRIEND WHO SPOKE ENGLISH--BADLY. I COULD UNDERSTAND HIM; HE COULD UNDERSTAND ME. THAT´S ALWAYS BEEN MY GOAL: TO SPÈAK SPANISH...BADLY!

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