Five Years Without Mom

Five Years Without Mom

I woke early this morning

I'd been edgy for days

Remembering five years ago

I slipped on some shorts,

Went to the mercado

Bought flowers—roses—your favorite

The old church nearby

Was open for early mass

Images of the Virgin are abundant here in Latin America

I placed the flowers in front

Of the Virgin of Guadalupe

Sat in a pew and thought of you

What more can we do

Place flowers in front of statues

Tend your grave

Honor your memory

Wherever you are

I know you're fine

How many times have I felt your presence

There are times

I wish I could walk into

The house on Grace Avenue

Both of you still alive, young

Baked chicken in the oven,

Your sweet salad dressing you made by hand on the table

One last Christmas

Where the whole white month of December

leapt with the joy of your enthusiasm

Another August day

when you'd spend hours

huddled over blueberries—happily picking away

But these are not to be

Your profound deafness, then blindness--

The loss of will to live

These I remember

It was OK for you to die; it was OK to let you go

I saw how you suffered

and knew you wanted to be whole again

Today I choose to remember

All your life lessons

Love, forgive

Remember those less fortunate

Embrace with joy that which you love

Always turn to God

Those lessons have served me well