December 2, 2012--Varnassi, India

December 2, 2012--Varnassi, India

An Advent story.

Early December.  Varnassi, India.  2012.

 

I’d arrived from Nepal a few days earlier.  I was still frazzled.  The ride—a 14 hour journey—was the most horrific day I’ve ever spent on the road.  I’d hired a car and driver, a kind man who was clearly over his head.  All of this is documented in another place, and a fuller story for another day.

 

It was no garden party, Dunday after drive.  There were elephants.  Festivals.  A gazillion people.  Careening busses that I thought would slam into the car I was traveling in.  There were caravans of cars with dead bodies strapped to the roof.  Once we stuck on the middle of train track with an oncoming train heading our way. I only had two Cokes and a box of horrible Chinese coconut cookies.  I refused to leave the car because I thought the driver would abandon me. 

 

But he never did.  He got me to my destination.  I kept having to fight back panic attacks.  By the time we arrived, I was a nervous wreck.  I was literally shaking.

 

That night I couldn’t sleep.  That just fueled my unrest.  I went to a restaurant, sat down, ordered a Coke (that always helps), and opened my notebook.  Writing has always been a way to process what’s going on around me.

 

I wrote and I wrote and I wrote.  At some point I could feel myself welling up.  I started to cry.  I escaped to a men’s room and just wept.  A full 20 minutes.  That was the level of anxiety I’d kept at bay the day before.

 

That was helpful.  Once out of me, I was able to deal the day.  Unbeknownst to me, it was the first Sunday in Advent and I saw a Methodist Church.  Loudspeakers off the church played Western Christmas music.  I decided I needed a little religion after the near-trauma of the day before, so I walked in, plunked myself in a back pew.  I was the only gringo there, and the service was in Hindi.  There was no place to sit, people were standing in the aisles and sitting on the floor.  I had no idea what was going on. Nothing was familiar.  Nothing.  Nobody moved.  Whatever was happening went on forever.  The guy next to me spoke some English.  He wasn’t encouraging.  This would last about 4 hours.

 

So I left.  I probably missed some funky coffee hour, but it was ok.  I’d honored Advent and the coming of hope, and that was enough.